What losing my brother taught me about grief: Take the advice that works, leave the rest

I’ve mourned relatives, students, people from my past. As piercing as some of these deaths have been, it wasn’t until Aug. 21, 2021, that I became someone whose grief is permanent. That day, in the early, still-dark hours, I woke up and saw my mom had called at an even earlier, darker, hour. When I called her back, she delivered the worst news of my life. My 35-year-old brother Tyler had died in a car accident the night before.